Mary Ladd

Breakity-Break

I have been told I need to slow down and rest because I have a son on the way, due in early October. Since this is our first (maybe only?) kiddo, I can't say for sure how long I'll be away. But I look forward to returning soon with more exciting food, drink, and related tidbits. Until then, cheers.

The Bachelor Client: Farmer's Market Outing

One of my newest clients is someone I've known for awhile. He's a bachelor and wants to update his cooking. His hope? To expand his dinner repertoire "beyond grass fed hot dogs and hamburgers." When he emailed to see if I could help, I said sure. I enjoy helping people get more comfy in their food routines. Especially if it's something they find to be annoying, tedious or otherwise unpleasant. Shopping, prep, cooking, and food storage can be simpler and easier with advice, tips, and practice.

His kitchen is spacious and pretty well stocked. There's room for more coconut milk, curry and other exotic fare, which he has expressed interest in. I also let him know without too much scorn that onions and garlic don't need to be stored in the fridge. But we have to start with baby steps. First, an outing to the farmer's market. Then we'll return to his place and prep.

Le Menu
White bean puree
Whole white beans
Frittata
Pesto with pasta

Shopping List
3 garlic cloves
1 small onion
Tomatoes
2 cups fresh basil leaves
2 T. dill, basil, or other fresh herb
2 T. parsley (optional, for pesto)

1/4 c. + 1/2 c. Parmesan cheese
6 eggs
1/4 c. pine nuts, walnuts, or almonds, for pesto.
1 lb. Fusilli or other long/thin pasta, for pesto

White beans

Catered Summer Dinner Menu for 30 guests

Here's a recent menu used for an event I worked on, along with miscellaneous notes:

Roasted Yukon gold potatoes filled with creamy asiago cheese & basil aioli-I keep meaning to ask the Chef, let's call him Chef Handsome, at what point in the prep does he sprinkle crack cocaine on the potatoes. They are so addictive, guilty staff members have been spotted popping them in their mouths as soon as they come out of the oven. The creamy garlicky goodness is worth any and all burns.

Grilled shrimp brochettes with tarragon, saffron and orange-No skewer soaking, which surprised me. There weren't any splinter complaints or sightings, though. Chef Handsome had me blanch then chop the orange zest, to make it more palatable and tasty. My fingers and nails became dirty from cleaning and pulling the tarragon, but the kitchen smelled wonderful and aromatic. While I enjoyed the layered flavors, another staff member poo-pooed it because of the saffron. Silly her.

Seared beef tenderloin brochettes with a red wine glaze-Tender, succulent, medium rare beef was a particular favorite of the male guests.

Summer veggie soup topped with a Parmesan crouton-NEVER put purple cabbage in a soup. It will quickly erase any and all evidence of golden, beautiful stock, and perfectly diced vegetables. Instead, you'll have a grayish-purple goopy looking mess that is impossible to fix or cover up. A crouton is only so big, you know. Put that purple cabbage to better use in slaws and garnishes.

Ceasar Salad-Although this was a zesty, fresh looking dish, many folks only nibbled on it. Chef Handsome was concerned, but I think the problem wasn't the salad. Maybe a serving of that purplish vegetable soup left them feeling like they'd already had enough veggies and good stuff? Tough to say.

Grilled New York steak with grilled asparagus and red onion, and mashed potatoes. Chef Handsome used white and green asparagus spears, and each guest received five total. Then came a pinch of the carmelized onions, and a pretty scoop of perfect mashers. Chef Handsome shared his trick for light, fluffy, perfect mashed potatoes, "Save some of the potato cooking water. Use that instead of stock. You won't need as much butter, and the water will provide saltiness." Mmmmmm.

I asked, "Do you let the potatoes sit for fifteen minutes, to cool before mashing?" Another Chef I know is adamant that that is one crucial step for texture and flavor alike.

"Yes," he said. I will repeat his potato water trick soon.

The steak was such a hit, that one female guest wandered into the kitchen, looking around. With a somewhat regal air, she asked Chef Handsome, "Where are the rest of the steaks? I'm looking for food for my dog. He's sick. Poor thing. Is there a steak I can take home for him, on a plate? Or in a doggie bag?" I thought to myself, "Lady, you've totally got priority issues. WTF?" Even though we had a handful of leftover steaks cooling and hidden under foil, Chef Handsome mumbled some sort of apology and shrugged. I was so glad he was saving those steaks for the clients. They needed to go to humans, not sick dogs. The regal woman shifted her weight and looked around some more and said, "Oh. Well. It was really good steak. He would've loved some." No doubt.

Chocolate cake with summer raspberries. Caffe Trieste Coffee & assorted teas. Steak, mashed potatoes, and this chocolate cake could easily pass as my last meal on Earth. While I'd go with a huge smile on my face, I am so over raspberries or mint as a garnish. However, there may be a dearth of options. Aside from tuiles and mini cookies, it's tough to come up with other dessert garnish options, eh?

Bar Menu: Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio, Merlot, and Pinot Noir. Sammuel Smith's and Corona. Crystal Geyser and Pellegrino. Coke, Diet Coke, and 7-Up. Sorry I didn't note the producers and vintages on the vino.

You Know You're a Caterer When...

...The skin around your finger nails turns brown and black. Whatever nail you may have is also dirty looking. Scrubbing with hot soap and water gets about half the grime and grit off. Hand lotion, or olive oil applied before bed helps some. The best solution for grimy fingers and nails? Masochists only for this one. My nails are super short as it is, but I use nail clippers to cut away as much filth as possible. The skin looks dead anyways, and cutting the skin off is painless. Really, it is. It would be useless to have open sores in this line of work, so I only cut superficially. Sadly, I have no clue what to do with the skin on the side of my pointer finger, which look like a busy road map of more dirt. Since the dirt isn't deep enough to cut through, I'm forced to keep washing and waiting for the appearance of grit to go away.

The reason my nails and skin are blackened is from hours of cleaning and picking herbs, for 2 separate events. Even though the herb bunches get rinsed first in a deep sink and colander, there is still enough trace dirty stuff to cause dirty nail.

Another nasty symptom of catering that is definitely freaky: blackened nostrils. How else to say it? Your boogers turn all black. While in the restroom for a break this week, I blew my nose. I had never seen such dry, black crud in a Kleenex. It was not blood, but looked like dried tar from a dirty street. There was a lot of it. The culprit? Hours spent cooking hot, glistening beef appetizers indoors. I kept thinking back to the somewhat oily, extremely hot, beef cooking pan that had tiny segments of garlic and beef in it. There must not have been enough ventilation, and perhaps I inhaled some of the oven's cruddy fumes throughout the event. I wondered if the warm, humid weather (Palo Alto, baby!) made things better or worse. The black boogers kept coming, later that night. My post-event relaxation was definitely cramped. I felt like a mad scientist every time I went to the bathroom and blew, hunched over the sink. Black, dirty tissue is painless but oh-so-gross. More extra hot water and soapy goodness to clean me up, stat!

SFist: Patricia Wells Cooks

I learned more about Patricia Wells this week, on a visit to Purcell Murray. She's charming, smart, and knows her cooking! More dets at SFist.

Sneaky Chef's Techniques are Gross

OK, watching the Sneaky Chef on TV yesterday morning didn't really make me puke, but I was seriously sick. Sick that someone in the media spotlight feels it's okay to enslave oneself to a frickin' blender or food processor in the name of healthy eating. Or that she'd put spinach and blueberries in brownies. Wrong, wrong, wrong!

Sneaky Chef is an attractive female chef who decided to always puree veggies and other "good stuff" and sneak it into her children's food. Oh yeah, she also has a book and classes for other parents who want to be sneaky. She puts these gross looking purees in muffins, doughs, with pasta, mac-&-cheese, and other weird combos. What nutritionist feels that children should be regularly consuming meals that are nearly in a pre-digested state (she used words to this effect)? Mmmm-hmmm.

I don't have a problem with being sneaky, but find it weird that one has to go that far just to include some veggies in a meal. This sets up a host of problems: a lot of work just to hide veggies, with no end in sight. By pureeing everything, a child will never feel he or she has to try new and different vegetables. There are so many easier ways to prepare tasty and healthy food than this sneaky approach.

Sure, it's easy for me to judge because that's what I do. I don't yet have a child and in theory haven't experienced the difficulties there, but I have many family members and friends who have offered a variety of veggies (and fruits, whole grains, etc.) to their kids. Overall results are young eaters with an interest in new and different foods, no puree needed. Eating should have a sense of adventure to it, rather than be a way to cut corners and sneak things past others.

The other weird thing with the Sneaky Chef is she uses those purees all the time. That may be okay for baby food. Other exceptions: in elder care facilities, and for folks who are for medical reasons no longer able to eat firmly textured foods. Sneaky Chef is creating a generation of kids who don't know what good and healthy eating is, and who will be loathe to try and prepare things on their own. It also has a smarmy, self involved whiff of spoiled brattiness to it.

Nine Dollar Asparagus

This past Saturday morning, I was hoping to score some asparagus at the Noe Valley Farmer's Market. My brother gave me tips on a new cooking technique that I was aching to try. As soon as people start talking about spring and/or Easter menus and I see hot cross buns at Dianda's, my thoughts inevitably turn to asparagus. A favorite brunchy type menu for this time of year is quiche or frittata, asparagus, ham with all the fixings, and hot cross buns.

At the market, I already had chili lemon pistachios, apples, oranges, and some jalapeno cheddar bread. Most of the stalls were closing up, because it was 12:59 p.m. I hurried over to a table with asparagus. "I'll take this one," I said, and started to dig through my pocket for money.

"Nine dollars," I was told. I thought I had misheard the guy working the stall.

"I'm sorry? Did you say nine dollars?" I asked.

He looked bored and said flatly, "Yes. It's six a pound. This is a pound and a half. Nine dollars."

I just couldn't do it. "I'm sorry. Never mind," I said. I kept saying to myself, "Nine dollars?" in my head. His prices were in line with one of my favorite organic markets, which listed asparagus at $5.95. I'm waiting for the prices to drop, and hope they do in time for Easter.

Healthy Heap o' Green Beans for the Holiday Table

I had to put at least one platter out for Thanksgiving that wouldn't cause the health minded eaters to keel over. Nearly everything else included some form of real butter, heavy cream, duck fat, or turkey skin. As much as I wanted to start with bacon in the sauteed green beans, I held off. Let the French haricots vert do their job of adding "healthy" flavor, color and fiber, while looking pretty with diced roasted red bell pepper, minced shallots, and fresh sprinklings of flat leaf parsley. This dish is an easy one to add to your holiday arsenal, especially when served at room temperature, which opens up oven space for other tasty treats.

Holiday Green Beans

1 Tablespoon extra virgin olive oil

2-3 minced shallot cloves (around 1 heaping Tablespoon)

2 pounds green beans, rinsed and with ends removed

1/4 cup diced roasted red bell pepper

1 Tablespoon freshly chopped parsley (buy flat leaf parsley if available)

Coarse salt and freshly ground pepper, to taste

1. Heat up a large wok or skillet to medium high. Add oil, turning the wok by hand so the oil can coat. When oil sizzles, add shallots, and cook for 20 seconds or so. Add green beans and red bell pepper.

2. Continue to stir the mix. The green beans are ready when they start to turn slightly blistered and brown, without burning or turning black.

3. Turn the heat off. Sprinkle the green bean medley with parsley, salt, and pepper. Place the beans on a platter, and serve immediately or later at room temperature.

House Husband Salad

So far, one day of having a House Husband has worked out amazingly. Oscar is cooking, shopping, and even cleaning for the next 2 weeks. He has a bunch of Chronicle vacation days to use up. It's nice having someone else do the work. I felt pampered and relaxed when I came home last night and saw his mise en place set up in the kitchen. My only job was to spin the salad with its dressing and pour us each a glass of Le Village Hard Cider.

His creative salad was from ingredients direct from the Made In France warehouse sale. It turned out to be a sort of Cobb salad, with a few things changed.

Oscar's House Husband Salad:

1 avocado, diced

1 cooked duck breast, diced, with skin** removed

1/2 bag spinach leaves, rinsed and gently dried

3-4 ounces goat cheese (Laura Chenel is good)

1 handful grapes (orange segments, or craisins would work, too)

Bleu cheese or other creamy dressing, to taste*

*A fresh citrus or other vinegarette would also brighten flavors up. We thought toasted walnuts would be good for future House Husband Salads. Bacon, too.

**Save that duck skin! Oscar wants "to cook some eggs in duck fat," a fantasy he's had ever since I told him KGO radio personality Gene Burns is known to cook his eggs in fat (but it was bacon fat, I believe. Oh well, we love both). The duck skin can easily be used to cook other savory treats. 

Serve House Husband Salad immediately by candlelight, with fresh toasted bread, and apple or hard cider to drink. Politely tell the House Wife to not lick the bowl. However, she can sop things up with a piece of bread. Let the House Wife gladly clean up. 

Summer Classic: Corn and Mushroom Chowder

Corn and mushrooms together give an earthy, sweet richness to any meal. In this chowder, adapted from Deborah Madison's Local Flavors, little dairy is used because the corn's "milk" takes care of that. You can even skip the dairy altogether, by substituting filtered water. There's nothing wrong with getting humble white mushrooms, but if can afford them, chanterelles add lustre.

One neat trick my chef brother passed along is an improved corn cutting method. No need to prop the corn up and cut lengthwise. Instead, save yourself the mess of corn flying through the air, and lay it on its side, cutting and turning as you go. Allow your knife to cut two thirds of the way down in to the kernel, and no further. When you finish, reverse the knife and press out the scrapings into your soup pot.

While making this chowder, I became ravenous while sauteeing the mushrooms. It took the potatoes almost half an hour to fully soften, so I kept sneaking bites of the buttery mushrooms and dipping Semifreddi's ciabatta into the broth.

Corn and Mushroom Chowder:

4 large ears of sweet corn shucked (try 2 white and 2 yellow for nice color & presentation)

2 long leeks-sliced, rinsed, and diced

2 yellow waxy potatoes, cleaned and scrubbed, and diced

2 T unsalted butter

2 t fresh chopped thyme

2 cups white or chanterelle mushrooms

1 quart milk

1/2 gallon vegetable stock (Imagine or home made)

1/2 cup cream

Salt, fresh ground pepper, to taste

Melt one tablespoon butter in a soup pot, adding leeks, potatoes and half the thyme. Add 1 cup water, sprinkle with 1/2 teaspoon salt, and cook over medium heat for 2 minutes. Add the corn.

Heat the remaining butter in a wide skillet. Add the mushrooms and saute over high heat, turning often, for about five minutes. Add the mushrooms with their juices to the soup pot, then pour in the stock and milk. Bring slowly to a simmer and cook until the potatoes are tender. Stir in the cream and add remaining thyme, chives, and season with salt and pepper.

Corn: a sweet and spicy afternoon treat

At the Valencia Farmer's Market (a store on 24th & Valencia), it's a smart thing that the owner, Kevin, peels away one strip of each corn husk, so customers don't have to. The visual does it, and I'm hungry. Two corn ears it is-one white, and one yellow.

First, I put away seven pounds of pork butt (recipe and report coming soon), along with various fruit. Then I pull the rest of the husk off the white corn because it's the bigger piece. Onto a plate and into the microwave it goes, for one minute. Too bad I don't have any lime around, because the citrus enhances the sweetness of the corn.

Next, I lay the corn on its side and butter it with my left hand, keeping the right hand as far away as possible. I'm avoiding butter or corn on that hand because it's going in the cayenne spice jar next, for a finishing touch. I spread out the leftovers of today's NY Times and set to work eating the sweet and spicy corn. It may be a funny show for the neighbors across the way - I can't help it, I pick up the plate and lick it, more than once.